Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Listening...

Listening to music. And ideas. I had a great vision today. A phenomenal vision. I have always been fascinated with courtesans, so I've been doing extensive research, and then the perfect vision came. Feminism. and then some. You have no idea. I'm concerned with China's growing AIDS crisis. I am. I am fearful. All my talk is random, it's 2am in the morning, let's just say the vision includes all of the above.

But there are so many ideas I have yet to finish. Complete. Convey.

So I talked to my grandma today, it was her birthday. Grandma is the best because she still sets goals and plans for her life. She says, "Niu-niu, I will teach you calligraphy when you come live with me". I'm so excited. To spend some time with grandma. I have to go. I miss her. She is on the level of the purist Buddhas. I want to think, that when you hit a century in age, that it automatically grants you "enlightenment". I think she turned 94 today.

Time kicks me in my ass. I have issues with time. :) I do. I can't keep track of it, there isn't enough of it, it seems slow when I tell myself it is, but nonetheless slips away when I don't want it to...I wish I could catch it. Hold it. Keep it long enough to say it's mine.

I guess that would be "me time", then, huh?

I'm good. I'm happy. I raised my standards in myself. I really raised the bar on myself. I must say, I've been bitter with the art world. I can say that. I don't give a fuck. Rules, no rules, these rules, that rules, MFA, no MFA, politics, gossip, whatever the hell.

Ha! The happy girl got bitchy. Yah. So I decided I'm making art, and that's it. Hiding out, making art. Being stealth. Hiding away at the same time. Keeping a low profile. That's me anyways. I value intimacy, and solitude. Just me n' Buster. Yup yup.

That's it. I'm staying away from art world for a while. I'm just really burnt out from showing. I'm only going to do 1-2 big shows a year, aside some group shows from inventory I have, and that's it. And focusing on other projects.

Research and development. I have to work on myself. I have to brush up on my Chinese, I want to be more health conscious, I want to learn and perfect my craft. Be really good at what it is I set out to do. Learning a lot about financial stuff.

This week is going to be really exciting. A lot of new people are coming into my life...

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