Why I Refuse To Work With Mean People (And Agree With Paul Graham That 'Mean People Fail')

Art Buddy: "YunnyBunny, I can't believe you turned ______ down for gallery representation, he's HUGE!"

Me: "I only work with nice people and don't deal with mean people.  Period."

Art Buddy: "But he can really help your career.  He can open doors, he can make you a lot of money.  I think you're making a huge mistake by not considering it."

Me: "I really appreciate your insight and always consider your suggestions as I know you're coming from a place of love.  Thank you for that.  But one of my business standards is that I simply will not work with mean people, regardless of what they can do for me. I can make myself a lot of money and open doors on my own, because in the end if it weren't for my creations and artistic talent, no one is making any money off of me.  In fact I don't even want to think of it that people get to make money "off of me", they get to make money with me.

As for ____, I don't like the guy.  And I don't deal with people who have egos. Cuz I know they're the first ones to throw you under the bus no matter who you are.  I don't like his lack of integrity, how he lies about artists, how he bullies them and insults them to get them to show with him, it's not what I'm about.  It's even more disturbing that assholes like him are held in high regard and given leadership positions.  Real leaders serve and that's not servitude to me.

It's just not my business style and goes against what I stand for, which is loving your way to success. Plus, mean people are small.  Why would I want to do business with a small person that tears others down, much less have someone small like that represent me? What does that say about me and my brand?"

Every once in a while my kindness is met with the most scathing, demeaning, belittling jerkass behavior.  Out of nowhere.  For no reason.  Perhaps for interrupting someone's bad day in an effort to bring them value, or simply because I was at the wrong place at the wrong time. Maybe I bruised their ego in speaking my truth.  Or maybe whenever they see me, they perceive me as a threat of some kind. Who knows.
 
I thought about why people are mean (unwarranted, unprovoked).  Don't get it twisted, I can be quite tough when provoked.  I know how to get "wolfy" and will show some serious teeth when I need to and will set someone in their place when I absolutely have to.  But we are talking about pure shrewd mean behavior, for no reason...

What is it that causes someone to consistently belittle others - and how is this a detriment to our society when they lead businesses and organizations?  Most of all why do we put up with it, allow it, support it, reward them and give them power for it?

Reflecting on all this brought me to Paul Graham's blog post, "Mean People Fail".  This concept never even crossed my mind.  Just in what ways do mean people fail?  It made me recall a recent incident when I was reaching out to people I knew in my FB network to see what their business goals were for the upcoming year.

I'd come across quite a few people with disposable income but no art on their walls.  I felt as an artist it's my duty to welcome them into art world, educate them, and cultivate them into fine art collectors.  I mean, do they really need a seventh flat screen television?  They asked me to refer them to someone that can help teach them to build an art collection aside from myself.

I reached out to one art consultant who I'd known (as acquaintances) for fifteen years, since my college days.  A summary of the convo:

Me: "Hey! I'm reaching out to my network to see what everyone's business needs are for the rest of this year, what are you working on and how can I help?"

Art Consultant:  "Why are you trying to be best friends with me? What do you want?"

Me: "I don't want anything from you.  I just want to help."

Art Consultant:  "What do you mean 'How can you help'? What, you want to come clean my house?! You're going about it all wrong Yun, it's really obnoxious, you should offer to take me to lunch."

Me: "Wow.  That's really mean, and unnecessary.  I would love to have taken you out to lunch, but I haven't even had a chance to get to that in this conversation.  I wish you the best."

Mean people are just grown bullies who are small.  The gallerist lost the chance to ever show my work in his gallery, the art consultant missed out on a lucrative referral.  Paul Graham's blog post is right on, mean people do fail. Learning this is humbling because it makes me reflect on the few instances I've been mean, especially when it wasn't warranted.  How did I fail in those instances?

Which brings me to leave these thoughts with you BunBuns.  Let us check ourselves in how we respond to the world, myself included. Kindness is confidence, welcomes opportunities and abundance, something the world needs more of.  When you are kind, you are able to inspire more.  The people you inspire are more loyal, passionate, work harder with you, which ultimately leads to better results and productivity. Simply because they are happy and enjoy working with you.

As entrepreneurs we have freedom to choose exactly how we want to create our business.  One of my favorite books, 177 Mental Toughness Secrets Of The World Class talks about hand selecting who you network and do business with. That the world class hardly does business with people that aren't world class. Paul Graham also points out in his blog post that he himself doesn't know of many mean successful people - amongst the most successful.  I guess once you get to that level, mean people just don't make it there. Whew! lol

I love our world and the people in it soo freaking much.  While I have compassion for mean people (and at times tolerance), I make sure they are eliminated naturally by the high standards I set for myself.  The majority of the world tears you down.  I want to lift you up.  That's what I stand for.

We can make the choice today to no longer tolerate mean people nor their behavior.  To not support them, nor their businesses and organizations.  To no longer allow them into leadership positions without impactful servitude.  To not brush their crappy treatment of people under the rug.  There has to be a level of accountability.  If we frown upon bullying when it comes to children, why do we allow it as adults? Onto ourselves?  

Not too long ago I was catching up with an old friend of mine.  We used to work together as makeup artists back in the day.  My friend has since moved on and doing fabulously well in film/television.  She said, "Yun it is crazy out there. People are vicious, mean, it's nuts."  I said, "True, it is rough out there.  But you have to look at it this way - you don't have to deal with those people. You have to look at it that they simply don't meet your business standards when you choose to only work with kind people." I was so excited for her that her light bulb went off.  Yee!

How has this post inspired you?  If you're mean, did it raise your awareness to be less mean?  If you've been tolerating mean people too long, will you say "Enough is enough" and raise your standards? No, YunnyBunny isn't perfect - I'm certainly no angel according to society's standards and can get wolfy when provoked.  But I truly believe that the world needs more kindness, especially in business.

Adventures With Friends, Fahamu Pecou At High Museum

Happy Day BunBuns! With spring around the corner, I got all excited and actually came out of my Bunny hole and poked my head around a little. lol For those that know me, y'all know I'm extremely low key and quite the happy hermit. 

Enjoying a wonderful meal with mom and friends. 

Been quite grateful for all the cool people I've come across that add so much joy and love to life lately.  We ate at mom's recent favorite discovery, TJ House. The food here is really authentic Chinese food.  Good food and happy faces, it's all I need.  :)

The next evening I had a GREAT time at my homegirl Ro's party.  Even though I don't get out much, I always try my best to go to her party because she's awesome and I don't get to see her often.  It's sweet, sentimental, special, and endearing.  It's been wonderful meeting new friends while bumping into old ones.   

Sweet Ladies.  

Maria and Tangee.  

Love her smile! With Ro. 

Happy with Carlton, Kat, Shana.

I just couldn't resist when my long-time friend whom (I haven't seen in forever) was in town and asked to meet up at the High Museum.  This was perfect because I've been wanting to check out my buddy Fahamu Pecou's show there.

After we got our squealing girly "hello's" out of the way (ok I was the only one squealing), the girls and I were soon lost in our own little reflective worlds.  I felt peaceful, inspired, excited, moved.

Wilfredo Lam biographical timeline.
High Museum Of Art.  Atlanta, GA, USA. 

The Wildredo Lam show was inspiring in that it made me realize just how much one can get done in their lifetime. Reading about Lam's biography and being able to see his expressions during that period of his life was incredibly interesting. Seeing what was going on in history at that time gave the experience even more depth. Definitely cool that dude was part Chinese too. Heee.

Fahamu Pecou, High Museum. 

It's been a pleasure watching Fahamu Pecou's art evolve over the years, it just keeps getting better and better.  Can't help but love the guy - he hustles his ass off, is a friend as well as a pleasure to work with.  This is an exciting moment for those that cheer him on and celebrate his progress. Yee!

Jose Parla and Fahamu Pecou collaboration.  High Museum.  

                                                    

I absolutely loved the collaboration he did with Jose Parla. Parla's paintings are incredibly beautiful.  The color combinations are interesting in each painting, but overall they are incredibly admirable. I just want to sleep in front of them at night and wake up in the morning to them.  

I love this pic of us.  It really was a fun, simple, sunny girly day.  The best.

Afterwards the girls and I took pictures spinning around in these fun, colorful, interactive sculptural pieces. They were so much fun y'all, I had a grown big kid moment and that's when you know you're really living.  Hee heee!

All in all I had a blast, really need to get out more but this is good for now, back to the Bunny hole.   Will come out soon! ;)

Haven't seen this beautiful Lady in over a decade! With Toya Northington.  

Love meeting new friends, with Carrie Beth and Toya.  

Couldn't resist their colors.

Bunny feeling grateful in the sun.

Cheesing with Toya. 

Extra cheese with Carrie Beth. 

Bunny Update: Art Papers Magazine Auction, WonderRoot Exhibit, Doo Gallery, VavaVoice Article

Ohhh my God I've been sooo busy in my Bunny hole hustling and bustling along in life.  Here's what I've been up to, I love u! 

Back in February I volunteered at the annual fundraiser Art Papers Magazine Art Auction.  I try to donate at least three hours of my time just once a year to support this awesome cool publication.  All the love, amazing content, all it will grow into, all that it's been.  If I can help keep it going by helping out for a little while just once a year, it's a beautiful thing and so worth it to me.  It's so fulfilling, it makes my heart pitter-patter. Yup. 

With old-time collector Jonathan Simon, visiting from NY.   

Smiling happy with sweet homegirl, Tene.  

With big brother Eric Daniel.  

Gotta love those who've watched you grow up, helping you get to where you are today.  

Had fun at the "Asian Artists Exhibit" at WonderRoot back in March, that was cool.  It was really fun and chill working with Ziyi Zhang and Jess Bernhardt, lots of Bunny love there! Only great memories with the folks over there.  Here's some previous podcasts I've done with WonderRoot, shot out to Floyd Hall too.

Also had a one night pop-up show at Doo Gallery,  Dean Thomas invited me to be in it, in alignment with International Women's Day.  I thought it was cool a dude put this event together in recognition and celebration of this important day in an act to support women. Doog, the owner came and gave me a big hug, said he was a big fan.  Met the gallery's marketing guru Brandie, we had instant rapport.  It's instances like these that keep me going, meeting happy smiling people who are glad to meet you because your art inspired them in some of way. It's those little successes that make you go home feeling accomplished and fulfilled.  The evening was full of new and old friends, laughs, even romance; it was a joyful, memorable evening.  

I met Kimberly at a networking mixer and we really connected as entreprenuerial women.  It was fun and energizing connecting with Kimberly and her staff.  The interns were so sweet,  I really enjoyed the camaraderie with everyone it was incredibly nourishing.  It's so important for us women to have the genuine support that helps us soar.  It makes a world of a difference when you have that kind of support.

Kimberly is owner of VavaVoom, a special sassy place where your sexy parts get primped and trimmed in case you have an unveiling planned.  Hee hee.  They specialize in designer waxing, personal skincare, below-the-belt body art, organic airbrush tanning, and good conversation over pink drinks and gumballs. 

I am incredibly grateful to Kimberly and VavaVoice for covering me as one of their feature stories.  Check it out HERE.  Bebe (my dog) looks great though I'm always a little shy hee hee.  *bashful Bunny

Other than that y'all I've been keeping busy and enjoying life, being aware and taking action!  And really trying to get adequate sleep.  It is soo dreamy yesss....  Zzzzzz. 

My Most Effective Business Secret - What Is It?

"LOVE YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS"

Yup! That's it. As I reflect on my 12 yr career as a professional artist, and reflecting on what has worked, that is the most important thing that comes to mind.

Everything I've gotten to be at this place in my journey, I've gotten simply from
being nice. Sharing & caring.

I've learned that having a big heart opens endless doors, sincere intentions are sometimes doubted but eventually appreciated bcuz they are so rare, being known as someone who always has others' best interest in mind gives you an edge, that it pays to be sincere and sweet.

A friend and I were chatting about it being cut throat "out there" and how to navigate one's career. I told her "Yes it is cut throat out there. But u have to look at it this way - these people simply DO NOT MEET UR STANDARDS to do business with you. They simply don't qualify."

So what has being kind brought me? A point in my career where I feel completely free to do whatever I want exploring opportunities I never imagined were possible. Several projects currently underway I've been wanting to do, with amazing allies wanting to sponsor and assist.

It was all bcuz of LOVE. I care so much for those that I work with, that they know when I am up at 4am I am working hard to make THEIR dreams come true. My teammates also play hard for my dreams. It's amazing what can happen when you love, you attract big hearts that help u win!

A BIG HEART LEADS TO BIG BUSINESS, LET'S KEEP ON LOVING OUR WAY TO SUCCESS BUNBUNS!

Spotlight: Tony Hong (Visual Artist)

Every once in a while, I like to "spotlight" fellow creatives that inspire me.  

Tony Hong is a LA-based artist whose technical skills blew me away when I first came upon his work back in 2009.  While strolling around downtown LA, I entered what looked like a pop-up show.  

I was drawn immediately to these meticulous trees so I rushed to take a closer look... My goodness BunBuns! Couldn't believe my eyes!  Each circle, curve, and line was drawn with painful precision, taking you on a never-ending swirl adventure.  I didn't know where to look, every branch had a story to tell.  I was so inspired!

There are so many interesting elements to Tony's work - one being, I couldn't tell if the artist was male or female.  Flowers, swirls, was the artist a chic?  Yet the trees weren't overly feminine.  The work reminded me of art nouveau; I could see some graffiti elements; and it certainly had pen and ink qualities.  

What I love about Tony's work is his controlled obsessiveness.  Every line drawn has a purpose, leading you to another branch of eye candy in his story poem. The closer you look, the more you're drawn in, deeper and deeper.

So I reached out to Tony.  I had to meet this amazing artist!  We chatted on the phone and discovered there was a lot in common.  A fellow Asian artist, his Korean upbringing influenced his art career goals - to make a living as an artist so he can honor his parents and family by supporting them financially.  I empathized with this as my goal was to also one day honor my duties of filial piety.

Tony was so kind, sincere, and genuine, you can't help but like the guy and wish him well-deserved success.  Make sure you stay in the loop for new developments of his work here. 

1.  Tell us about your art.  What is your art about, the message behind your art?  
Despite the amount of detail, I'd say it's relatively simple pieces when it comes to the ink work.  One color, working in line.  I'd like the process to resonate and speak about the piece just as much as the final image.  Hopefully there's a synergy between the two.  The motifs I use in my work are organic, nature inspired.  Rare to find man-made objects in my pieces. If there are (i.e. birdcages) they're there to highlight the organic.

2. What inspires you? 

I want to share stories.  Timeless and universal are big words but that's what I strive for in my work.  

3. Tell us more about your art process.  

Career doodler.  Line Maker.  Storyteller.  I marinate a lot.  

4. What's coming up for your regarding happenings, new work, art stuff?  

Color.  Figuring out this whole watercolor thing and working it in with ink. 

 
5.  If you were an animal, what would you be (hybrids are ok)? Why? 

A one winged pegasus... I can't fly straight but I keep swerving to the side.  I'm a bit of a meandering turtle too.  So maybe a cross eyed turtle is what I am.