Saturday, July 13, 2013

A Request.

*This note is intended for anyone going through adversity, or knows of someone going through adversity. Thank you for taking the time to read and consider.  Reposted from a FB note. 

While the path of an artist isn't usually easy, it's been a blessing to triumph through numerous adversities.  The blessing comes from having the opportunity to mold one's character, our ultimate work of art.  The benefits of adversity include having a platform to train our mental toughness; having a point of reference to grow from; knowing who our real friends are; having intense clarity of our past, present, and of the future that we want.   

Each adversity I've ever faced has helped me strengthen a virtue or acquire a new one.  It's given me a chance to truly change, create, and become the kind of steel magnolia BunBun that I want to be.  As we continuously evolve, the following two "life codes" I've adapted have helped me get one step closer to wholeness within.   

1) Protecting my friends' privacy like a mastiff.  In observation of how often someone would spill the beans on their so-called "friend" to a complete stranger (me), I found myself assessing my relationship to gossip. There were moments of self-actualization when I found myself lured in and participating in gossip, sucked in almost as if by quicksand.  I didn't like who I was after the fact.  I was ashamed and quite disappointed in myself, actually.  

So changes were made.  I distanced myself from those who gossiped about their so called "friends", stopped them in their tracks and called them out on it, or simply made a mental note to not ever tell this person anything about myself unless it was something I wanted broadcast to the world.  

I ask my FB community to assess your relationship to gossip.  What do you get out of it?  Why do you do it?  If we considered someone our friend, someone that we care about and love, then wouldn't it make sense to only gossip about their celebrations, accolades, and accomplishments?  Why don't we do more of that?

2) The magic of a phone call. Reach out and call somebody, (right now).  Reach out and return that phone call, (right now). :)

While the responsibilities of life keep us immersed with our priorities, it means so much to receive a delightful, positive, encouraging voice message.  Thanks to the reminders on FB, I try my best to call folks on their birthday and sing them "Happy birthday" offtune, in Chinese.  Or just call and let them know you're thinking about them and take the opportunity to tell them you love them. Honestly, it might be the last time we have such a chance - you never know what could happen tomorrow.  So I make sure to tell those that I love, how much I really love them whenever there is the chance.  

Genuine sincerity goes a long way in life.  Encouragement, praise, kindness, and compassion does wonders for others.  Especially if you know someone is really going through a hard time.  A quick phone call, a happy encouraging message, a little sunshine to offset this crazy ATL rain we've been having lately can do so much.  

I've learned that in loving someone, it's incredibly hard not to be there for them.  To watch someone suffer as an innocent bystander knowing that we can help them in some kind of way doesn't make us so innocent.  Especially if we call them our "friend".  

With that said, I ask my FB community to be reminded that as we all face our life challenges no matter what they are, that it is simply another opportunity to mold our character in acquiring more virtues. While no one is perfect (I certainly have things to work on), having the opportunity to be the best that we can be is perfection in itself.  As we triumph through our own adversities, let's make it easier for others to triumph through theirs by protecting their privacy and offering praises of encouragement.  

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