I've been so busy! Fell off my workout plan for a couple of weeks due to stress but now I'm back on my workout plan. Getting into shape for health reasons, but also because I'm planning an upcoming photoshoot for my new website launch. It will be my first real photoshoot complete with makeup artist, hair stylist, fashion stylist, photographer, etc. So I'm trying to get into shape before that happens, hee hee. Thinking of creative ideas for the shoot, have any suggestions? Can't wait, it's going to be super exciting! Stay tuned everybody, get ready. I will also be launching my new webstore and this blog will be really vamped up. Yee!
The topic I wanted to focus on this week is "How to be beautiful". Our society focuses so much on outer beauty defining what is beautiful and what isn't. I learned this week that being beautiful is a feeling we experience. We become beautiful by making others feel beautiful and by doing "beautiful" things.
I realized this when I was at the beach with my good friend Adrian Villa, (one of my beloved gay boyfriends, lol) who is an amazing make-up artist. We met when I first moved to LA from Atlanta, when we both worked as make-up artists at Macy's. Adrian and I went to Venice beach and along the way while sitting in traffic, I saw this buffoon open their car door and place their trash (an aluminum can and a full plastic bag) right there in the road! It didn't occur to the buffoon that there were cars behind them? Even worse, we had to swerve around the trash to get through.
Some of us are so absorbed in our own little world, that the rest of it doesn't exist to us. This buffoon obviously couldn't live with their trash for a little while longer, long enough to make it to a trash can. What a buffoon! lol
After we got to the beach and had a wonderful picnic, I started making my way to the ladies' room. This dude on a bike came sweeping by and ran over my foot with the baby stroller he had attached to the back of the bike. It was one of those strollers you can put the baby in that had wheels, that you can attach to the back of a bike. Dude didn't give a warning, didn't say "behind you", no horn, nothing. Just came crashing into me, running over my bunny foot with his child. His wife even said something, "Honey, watch where you're going". I said, "Yeah, you should let people know that you're coming".
You know what this buffoon said? He goes, "Well, you saw me coming". Or course I was the bigger person and said, "You have a good day, sir." Then I said, "I think you owe me an apology, but whatever", and kept going. If I didn't have to pee so bad, I would have stood there longer to stand my ground. But you have to pick your battles, and this buffoon was not worth my bunny time.
He's just another example of someone who's so absorbed in themselves, completely careless about anything else. I felt sorry for him, you know? That he couldn't accept responsibility for what he did, much less admit he was wrong. That he embarrassed himself further by acting even more like a buffoon with his ignorant comment. I felt sorry for the kid he was raising, and even though the baby was young, he still set an example for his kid without even realizing it. But most of all, I felt sorry for his wife. Because a woman is reflected by the male company she keeps, he made a complete fool out of her too, embarrassing her. I pitied her that she married such a buffoon, much less having his child! lol
If 2012 does hit as some say, it will be because of people like him. And that other littering buffoon. And those people responsible for the oil spill. Why should we get to continue going on the way that we do, when we can't appreciate the world we live in? We contribute to these catastrophes daily by abusing our power. I believe they build up and that's why we have these crazy earthquakes, tsunamis, oil spills, etc. This oil spill is no accident, y'all. All of these occurrences are signs for us to check ourselves.
Although I couldn't make him apologize, I could choose to be beautiful by rising above him instead of stooping to his buffoon level or be tainted by his buffoon ignorance. Being equally ugly would have just made me a bunny buffoon. lol He knew he was wrong. His wife knew he was wrong. The point is, next time you do something that you know you're clearly in the wrong, just step up and say you're sorry instead of blaming it on someone else. Because in the end it just makes you look like a bigger buffoon. lol
I admit, there are so many adversities out there. But isn't that just more reason for us to behave beautifully? To balance things out, if it were possible? We have more power and impact than we know, or give ourselves credit for. Yet some of us abuse that power and choose to be ugly, doing ugly things. I believe that we all have power and you only get more of it when you choose to do good with your power. The folks at Enron abused their power (you saw what happened to them) yet someone like Oprah chose to do good with her power (you see what happened to her! lol). Point made. All I'm saying is, BEAUTY IS A CHOICE. BEING BEAUTIFUL, IS A CHOICE.
I decided recently and shared with my friend Linh, that although I can't control what happens in the world or even what happens to me, I can, however, choose to respond gracefully; behave eloquently, and exist beautifully. That was the revelation I had this month; a promise I made to myself. I'm not going to lie, I have insecurities about my looks just like everyone else. But discovering this lesson and choosing to live "beautifully" was just another way to allow myself to feel beautiful (which is how every woman wants to ultimately feel, right?)
What if, just what if, how we act is really how we feel about ourselves? Selfishness is really a sign of self-insufficiency, isn't it? It means you're so caught up in getting what you don't have enough of within yourself, that you have to be ugly to compensate for that emptiness of what you lack. Clearly, it shows in some people. I once heard a wise man say, that there are two types of people in the world: "Those who come from a place of fear, ego, and scarcity, and those who come from a place of love, abundance, and spirit". (Paraphrased from 177 Mental Toughness Secrets of the World Class by Steve Siebold)
I truly feel sorry for those people who operate from such a low level, because you know what it really means? That they're really in their own prison of fear, ego, and scarcity they've created for themselves that they can't break free from. The saddest thing is they're teaching their families and their children to live in fear, creating that prison for themselves. It's like an ant crawling around in one square area inch constantly searching, attacking other ants for food not realizing the existence of the whole wide world is as big as it is. If only that buffoon ant knew... You have no idea how much I want to set that buffoon ant free! lol *bunny sigh
But seriously folks, part of living beautifully is being rewarded by living freely. I can finally say with where I am right now in life, I feel so free. Sure I have worries, bills, adversities- but my being and spirit (for once) are truly free. If it's anything I wish upon the world (including the buffoons), I wish for all of us to relieve ourselves from the prison we've created and to truly exist and live freely, beautifully. Just imagine how much more we'd all be to ourselves, our families, our communities...
Speaking of living freely, I'm heading down to Laguna Niguel this weekend to audition for Oprah in hopes of getting my own TV show! Several years ago, this psychic told me he had a flash of a vision that I was going to be with Oprah! lol Yah I'm scared, a little nervous, but I have to do it. I'd rather drive down there, camp out overnight and open that unknown door just to rest assured that I opened the damn thing fully, discovering what was behind it. You never know, could be freedom. I'd rather be rejected than be 90, old, and decrepit thinking about the life I never attempted. Whatever the case, I shall bring them my story, what I stand for, and my hopes to use the show as a portal to serve and educate Americans about contemporary art. I hope I have your support America, and Oprah's too. Yeee!