Saturday, June 21, 2008

Dudes, horses, and faith

I've been meeting a lot of them lately...and I've been going out, having fun, chatting, and whatnot, kicking it as friends. I mean, friends are safe. Slow is safe.

But still a commitment-phobe. Ha, it would take such an amazing man, and a lot of patience for me to make a commitment. So give it up boys! Yun really isn't on the market.

But I'll always have my art. And my businesses that I'm building. I'm fully 200% committed to those things. Just not dudes. I can't say men will stay--that they'll be around.

Except, amazing platonic homeboyz. Those do stay in my life. For 10, 15 years. Yup, just buddies.

I had a commitment-phobe moment again today, I guess you could say. LOL I can't explain it. I've just become more and more of a runaway bunny lately. I'd have to be friends with a dude for a few years before I could even think about him possibly maybe even being my boyfriend....ew, much less my husband.

I mean, not only would he have to be consistent and seriously patient, he'd have to be all that and a bag of kettle chips and French onion dip on top! lol

Yeah, I've just been really into my life. The art thing, the financial thing, I've just been really all in. I've been meditating a lot, staying positive for myself and those I come into contact with, staying positive for everyone else.

The psychic said that she saw me on a white horse, and people were following me, and that hard times were coming for us all and that I have to remain strong and positive, and inspire people with my art, and help people with what I know about finances.

The funny thing is, I decided to name my car "Horse" that day. I saw myself like Joan of Arc, fighting hard to do good, to help people, to have their best intentions in mind at all times, rushing off to be somewhere...and I'd say, "HORSE!" and he'd come, and we'd gallop away off into the sunset on a crusade to make shit happen...

This is the year. This is the year that big breakthroughs happen. I can feel it. The seeds I've planted, are sprouting. A few galleries have shown interest in showing me in Art Miami in December, which is exciting. Applying for the West Prize, New American Paintings, finishing my piece for the Chinese Character Biennial, my gallery in Houston gave me a solo in February '09, and on Tuesday I'm meeting with some managers to manage me for some licensing deals. 

God just let me do good, and be good. As long as I do good and love, the Source is my unfailing supply. I know I'm agnostic and all, but I know something is up there...cuz all kinds of crazy good shit has been happening. I just have to believe a little more faithfully. As if faith was seared into my backbone, into every vertebrae.

I don't give a fuck. Not afraid of shit. For I am a resilient soul, and I know that as long as I stand back up, nothing can keep me down. Get up, Yun, get the fuck up.

I learned that when I apply this kind of faith and resilience with love, miracles happen. It's like Einstein said, "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

I know people think I'm a little over the top with my positivity and all, that I'm a little too "yippie" and excited, but I don't give a fuck. I just feel sorry for them that they haven't found that same joy and passion in their own lives to feel as elated as I have---but I wish for them that they all can truly experience inspired joy....

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