I lived a full day today. What stood out were two things mainly, one being the true sense of freedom I realized I had as a woman in our day in age, much inspired by one of my best friends Laura Clemons, and two, something my grandmother has said over and over in her advice concerning men.
So let me tell you about my friend Laura. She is pure feminine fire. A true woman, independent yet feminine, fiery with vision, loyal, bringing nothing but value to the table. Full of spunk, wit, and charm. We've all grown so much over the years, but Laura inspires me to be great--simply because she, is great. Her business reputation precedes her, well respected by all. Truly, a lady. A lady of integrity, dignity, and the utmost strength, and mental toughness, I have ever seen in a woman (in a very long time). It is rare to keep the company of such an amazing person, such character. I hope everyone has the opportunity to have someone with the heart, determination, and strength of Laura in their lives. And gentlemen, I hope you learn to appreciate bold, brazen babes like Laura and myself--for a woman with no boundaries, limits, nor fear, is truly free. It's only then, that we are truly relinquished and able to pursue and create, what our real desires are...
Which brings me to the subject of marriage again; I know y'all are tired of hearing, so this is my final decision pertaining to marriage. Everyone in my family is starting to "hint". Even some punk ass skinny jheri-curled stranger I recently came across at a party commented with "biological clock ticking, ehh? It's time." after I gave a surface compliment to how cute the baby was sitting next to him, in the arms of its mother.
The point is, there are no boundaries in life. There are none. To be a woman right now, in our day in age, is the best time for fruition of any dream, any desire. I've truly come into my own, in defining how I want to exist. How I want to just be. How to just be myself, by being the best of myself. We are women, we have more power than we currently give ourselves. We have a sense of feminine freedom that I have just recently discovered and tapped into, that I wish so many other women can find that same sense of freedom within their heart, and themselves.
I am truly grateful, to be able to practice my freedom, and not give a care of how a "good woman" or a "tidy woman" ought to behave. I would like to think Laura would agree with me - I'd rather be a strong woman with a passionate heart, than a conventional woman with fearful thoughts. It's always been a belief of mine that only bad girls (with vision) make headway. I am blessed to be surrounded by such strong female warriors, fighting for our own seat on the stage of success.
So marriage isn't for me. I don't believe that men, in their human nature, could be physically committed to one woman forever. I think it sets you up for failure and confusion when it does fall apart. To think, the pressure. And for us women, when a man does cheat on us, we blame ourselves..."What did I do wrong that he would stray?" Automatically we blame ourselves.
Don't get me wrong, I am all about monogamy. It is a beautiful thing between two people. But the expectation that it's supposed to last forever, is blinding. I'm not saying that monogamy that lasts forever is blinding, only the expectation of it is. We all long for it. But to expect it, to put all your expectation in it lasting forever, is illusion. I see myself not getting married, being in a relationship, having some kids, living together peacefully with joy and taking it for what it is. For however long it lasts. But to expect it that it will last forever, almost jinx's it.
Which brings us to a very interesting point my grandmother has always reminded me when giving advice on the opposite sex--come to think of it, it's her only piece of advice she's given on the subject of love and men, reiterated frequently:
"The man that loves you more than you love him, will treat you the best."